Hey. You. Yeah you. The one readin’ this. You may call me Supreme leader, President of Earth or Ruler of all. But my real name’s Unicorn. Yeah, yeah. An evil Unicorn. I know,Unicorns aren’t the most evil thing in the world, but I come pretty darn close. And of course “Evil Unicorns” all have to have good guys to kick their butts and mine’s named Tech Storm. His power is to control all technology around him. And his suit can transform into anything. For instance, one day when I was on a run, no evil intended, little taser/sleep bullets started to fly right at me. And as I’m doing all I can to NOT get hit, I look to my left and what do I see?!?! Tech Storm’s suit transformed into a pretty massive machine gun. Well I‘m pretty hungry so I’m going to go to Sub-Way to get me a Vegi-Lovers-Special-Foot Long for $10. Later sucker!!!!
Unicorn
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In Sub-Way
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As I walk in, people stare at me. But especially one dude who had walked in with me. Then, all of a sudden, we (at the same time) see a sign that says, “ONLY ONE VEGI-LOVERS-SPECIAL FOOTLONG LEFT!!” Then we both run as fast (in my case galloped as fast) as we can towards the counter. We get there at the same time. The man introduced himself. “Hi, I’m Chuck Connors.” “ Yeah, whatever, I’m Unicorn.” I snapped back at him. Then the weirdest thing happened. The guy took off, sprinting for the bathroom. “Gotta go when ya gotta go!” I said chuckling to myself. “Alright! I’ll take the last vegi-lovers spe-” All of a sudden, Tech Storm shot out of the little boys room. “I’ll take that sandwich!!” he yelled. “I was here first!!!!” I screamed back at him. “Come at me then!!!” he roared back. I zoomed towards him with a pace faster than light, my horn glowing and radiating with power. I put on the biggest burst of speed in my life, head lowered for a charge. Then, at the last second, Tech Storm jumps to the side, and I hurtle through the wall. I’m going so fast that I keep going. And over my shoulder, I hear the nerdy guy from the counter say in a nasally voice, “Tech Storm! Thank you for getting rid of that “evil” whacko!! As a reward, you can have the very last Vegi-Lovers-Special Foot Long!!!”
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Alright, alright. Quit ya laughin’. I know the whole “Sub-Way” incident didn’t go so well, I lived it for cryin’ out loud!!! I’ve been wondering. I’m bad at being bad, but what if I’m good at being good? I set up a meeting with Teck Storm to talk about my feelings, under a (if this doesn’t work out) temporary peace treaty. I’ll be meeting with Tech Storm in a dark, scary ally. Wish me luck!!
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The next day
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Hey again. Looking back on all of that evil junk, I realise that I was only “trying to be evil” because when I was a young foal, I was picked on by the other animals because I only had one horn, while they all had two horns or none at all. But I’ve moved past all of that now and have agreed to work with Tech Storm (after I’ve been trained) and be a good guy. Well I’ve got to go pick flowers and chase butterflies now!!
Love,
Unicorn
P.S. Being bad doesn’t pay the bills!!
